Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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