Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
