Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
