youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
