Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize