how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
