She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish i was in the wii world.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
