false alarm. still invincible.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
