No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
