...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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