ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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