My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
sarcasm needs its own font
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
