My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i need an iv and a liver transplant
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
