im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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