why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
When are your genitals available?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
