Michael Bay diarrhea
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
