he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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