It's Friday. Sex?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
