i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
