She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
