Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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