I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
