You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
