he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
