Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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