Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
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I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
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How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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