I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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