I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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