this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize