I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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