I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a kid would responsible me up
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize