At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
