I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
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I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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