Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
