i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
