Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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