they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize