Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
