It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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