you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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