I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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