The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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