I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
