i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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