toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
it was like eating out sand paper
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize