Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
