also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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