how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
