you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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