So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
