Kiss
Puke
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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