Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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