I smell stomach acid.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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