Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize