Little spoons don't ask big questions
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
