I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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