If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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