she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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