Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
