As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
