Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
