Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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