I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
