do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
