I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
