One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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