neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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