The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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