Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize